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Johns Got Hemorrhoids

from Who Killed The Easter Bunny? by Muppethead

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lyrics

Johnny's got a problem and it ain't going away
He's crying in the bathroom almost every single day
Telling everybody that it's quite a sight to see
And the pain is so intense that it brings Johnny to his knees

Maybe its because he's overweight
Or he took it in his rear
He don't care
He just wants it to disappear
A woahohohoh

He can't wipe his ass
Johns got hemorrhoids
Painful to pass gas
Johns got hemorrhoids
There's blood in his stool
Johns got hemorrhoids
He don't know what to do
Johns got hemorrhoids

Now Johnny's scared to eat cause that'll mean he'll have to shit
Never thought excessive wiping could've ever lead to this
Telling everybody that its quite a sight to see
Developed a new phobia of sitting on the toilet seat

Maybe its because he wails and strains
Or he's drinking too much beer
He don't care
He just wants it to disappear
A woahohohoh

He can't wipe his ass
Johns got hemorrhoids
Painful to pass gas
Johns got hemorrhoids
There's blood in his stool
Johns got hemorrhoids
He don't know what to do
Johns got hemorrhoids

Johnny Johnny
He don't know what to do

credits

from Who Killed The Easter Bunny?, released August 20, 2020

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Muppethead Cleveland, Ohio

Ohio Dumbcore
EST. 2020

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