Johnny's got a problem and it ain't going away
He's crying in the bathroom almost every single day
Telling everybody that it's quite a sight to see
And the pain is so intense that it brings Johnny to his knees
Maybe its because he's overweight
Or he took it in his rear
He don't care
He just wants it to disappear
A woahohohoh
He can't wipe his ass
Johns got hemorrhoids
Painful to pass gas
Johns got hemorrhoids
There's blood in his stool
Johns got hemorrhoids
He don't know what to do
Johns got hemorrhoids
Now Johnny's scared to eat cause that'll mean he'll have to shit
Never thought excessive wiping could've ever lead to this
Telling everybody that its quite a sight to see
Developed a new phobia of sitting on the toilet seat
Maybe its because he wails and strains
Or he's drinking too much beer
He don't care
He just wants it to disappear
A woahohohoh
He can't wipe his ass
Johns got hemorrhoids
Painful to pass gas
Johns got hemorrhoids
There's blood in his stool
Johns got hemorrhoids
He don't know what to do
Johns got hemorrhoids
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